Manifesto of a Fat Person

I am Fat. There, I said it. I used the F word. I am Fat. I do not like being fat. I do not accept being fat. Those are masks for the world; more for those who do not know me than those who do. Those who know me know that I wish for more. I wish for small, I wish for less, but they accept me as I am. They do not accept that I cannot be less, they accept me as I am, and there is a difference. Inside, I never accept that this is who I am and it cannot change. Yes, there are times. Times, after a long hard battle, A battle I really thought I would win. When I am tired and disappointed more for my loved ones than myself. When depression and failure are closest; “I CAN NOT DO THIS!’ “I AM A FAILURE!” But you know I am not. I am a fighter. I need to accept the failure for what it is. It is not a weakness. It is not about whether I was serious about winning the fight. I am always serious. I am always thinking about the next move. Even as those words “cannot” and “failure”, leave my mouth, they leave a bad taste. A taste I cannot tolerate. More that anything else, even being Fat, I cannot accept failure. So I rest, and regroup. It may look as if I am doing nothing to change my disposition. But I am. I am thinking. I am gathering information. I am regrouping. I am rebuilding my armor and arsenal, for I know the fight will come again.


I am a person of God. I know that the body is the temple of God. I have never been unaware. But, I am also a sinner. I indulge where I should not. I do not intend to indulge. However I do not defer responsibility. Just like any other sin, I repent. I ask for strength, I plead for this cross to be lifted. Maybe, just maybe, for me, it is not about losing weight. Maybe it is after all about the fight. Not the victory, but the battle. Maybe, my fight isn’t necessarily for me, but for another. Maybe, when I fight, another sees and gains strength. Another begins to fight also, and while I am without success, another is victorious. Maybe, I am not to be small or less, but to be more, strong, defiant, determined. Maybe I need to fight this fight for myself, in order to help others fight for themselves. Maybe this is Gods plan after all. Maybe God wants me to know that I truly am his child. My temple may be in disrepair, but my sanctuary, my heart, is pure with love for God.

I will fight again and again. As a fat person, I know more about being thin and healthy than those for whom it comes naturally. When the battle is over, and I go to be with my lord, and this imperfect temple is replaced with a perfect one, I will be victorious, because I never lost sight of my true purpose. This imperfect temple is “of” this world, and I am not. I am “in” this world. I will leave this world and join the sanctuary of the Lord forever.

But until then... In this world...I will fight on... For my soul.

Anyone know a good repair man?

Say Grace

As I write this, it is approching Thanksgiving day. During this month I have spent time concidering what I am thankful for as have many americans. On the social networks, some have taken to giving thanks for something each day as the holiday approched. I thought this to be a good idea, but chose to reflect in silence instead. I reflected on what I read each day and what you often hear each year around the table. Something seemed off as the holiday approches. I did'nt know what but something was off. Then today as I went about my business, I realized. It's everything. Everything I  and all the daily thanks were all about what we have, or who we know, family, friends, jobs, food on the table, health.......of this world.
God tells us christians are to be in this world but not of this world, and yet all to often we rattle off the things of the world we are thankful for. Its not just that I have things of this world to be thankful for, but also that, or maybe because of, that I am just not worthy. It is only by Gods grace that I am able to rejoice in my place with him in heavan. I cannot earn eternal life like I earn money. I cannot earn eternal life as a reward for the good things I do. God has blessed me in this world, and in response, how do I thank him? I become of this world. The funny thing that kept coming back to my thought, is that it is by Gods grace that we have these things and it is also by Gods grace that none of them will be of any significance when we are living eternally with God. The bible tells us that there will be no man, or woman, or marriage in heaven. These are the things God gave us on earth to fill the absence from God. When we are with God through his grace,there will be no need for anything but Praising our Lord.
So as I sit down to be with family and friends, we will pause...It is no coincidence that when we pause we will speak our thankfullness in prayer...we will say Grace.
Funny... how we will gather to thank God for his grace... by saying grace.
Thanks be to God for his infinite Grace for an unworthy child.

Well Done Good and Faithful Servant

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff they comfort me. – Psalms 23:4

It is early, Just before Dawn, the air out side is crisp but not cold. Snow gently waifs from sky to ground. Inside there is one last breath and it is finished. In his life long town of less than 60,000 his final moment has passed. Those who are left behind move from hopeful to mournful.

A common expresion when some one dies is to say they have passed away. He has not passed away he has passed on, for this man of many blessings was the part of a "Family in faith". 10 brothers and sisters the early years a challenge for his parents. But one thing was for certain, the family was abundantly filled with love for God, each other, and for those in need. He heard from Gods word on a daily basis, and spoke to God in prayer. His parents, His brothers and sisters, his wife, his children, and his grandkids all were blessed with Gods presence. This was no accident. Gods children do not pass away, They pass through, He knew that.


And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away. – Revelation 21:4


He, served his country in the armed services. His army boots served his younger brother as well. [One of his younger brothers most prized possesions] He served his family as a believer in Christ and a champion for Gods work. He served his community as an State Senator for Wisconsin. He played his Sousaphone (tuba) for his church community, his local community, and in rememberance in memorial day parades with the local high school band, before the pressures of political correctness grew.

He was a golfer, often golfing with family. Competitive but a sportsman, after all you keep score because you want to win, but understand that winning is not most important. The golf course was a place for competition, comradory, and bonding. As time wittled away at youth, walk was replaced with wheels, but he never lost sight of his goal to beat his little brother more often than not. He enjoyed beating his little brother. His last year held some of the best golfing he had ever enjoyed.

He was brother, he was friend, he was partner, he was mentor, he was servant, he was caring for family, poor, needy, everyone.

His lord will say unto him, "Well done good and faithful servant: thou hast been faithful over a few things, I will make thee ruler over many things, enter though into the joy of the lord. Mathew 25:21
".......take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you, since the creation of the world."

Perhaps from the mouths of babes comes the perspective we adults seek. As he passed and family from all parts of the country began to pray for those who remain, as a child is tucked into bed to end the day in conversation with our lord, the child prayed..." and I hope that Uncle carl is having fun in heaven."

Thanks Carl. One day we will all join you in rejoicing in the presence of our Lord.

"For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." – Romans 8:38-39

Behold, all things are become new

It is the new year, and in so much as we are starting a new year, we also began a new life with the birth of our Saviour. From here as Christians, we look ahead to the purpose of our saviours birth, which is his death and resurection, but first we must get "First things First"
Before I begin, I have a couple of confessions to make. First, the thoughts you are going to read, are not entirely my own. They begin with my churches message, delivered today entitles "First Things First", and delivered expertly by pastor Brad and the inspiration of the holy spirit. Second, I usually work of the cuff and say what comes to mind as my thoughts organize. I do not know where things will begin and end when I sit down to type, They are organized in the moment. Tonight however, I have my ipod with my Holy Bible App open and the scripture before me from todays message, because I feel I may need to do more than memory and emotion. Time will tell.
For me, I am visual, and I cannot pass up a vivid visual analogy. "First things First, essentially means that we must put God first both as a church and as a person. The things that are of the earth are of the earth and the things of heaven are not of this earth.It seems like a simple, an odvious statement, one that might bring a "Heeeellllloooo???" from a younger lad, but when you really think about it, seperating earth from heaven is one of the most difficult things, we as christians can have tasked to us.
Todays message had an analogy about the seven tourches which represent the seven early churches. One of those early churches is being spoken to and being delivered the message of the importance of being sure that what we do is not for our glory, but form the glory of God. (Do you volunteer at the food pantry because it makes you feel good?, or because those who need help are Gods childeren, and God has gifted you with compasion for those less fortunate? )We hear alot about light in the bible. Our light is like the light of a candle, and we should not hide it under a bushel, The lighting of our path, and of course, Jesus being our light. Now back to the tourches. Seven tourches, all burning with the light of Jesus. As the early church is being causioned that if they do not regain the purpose of the lord, and return to fulfilling Gods purpose the tourch will be laid down. Picture yourself surrounded by darkness. The only light you have is the light of the torch you carry. You believe you are on the right path. Then out of the darkness, The glory of Jesus approches. He speaks nothing, but holds out his hand for your torch. You hand it to him with pride in your accomplishements.Then without warning, the torch drops to the ground with a thud, causing the flame to extinguish. You are alone in the darkness.
" The light of the body is the eye: If therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light. But if thy eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. Matthew 6:22-23a (kingJames)

All of that having been said, and knowing that we are in this world and not of this world, I have just one more thing to say...... "Go Packers"